Before I was a Mom

I have seen many of these little, "stories," in the 4+ years that I have been a mom-- and they always have statements that ring true--but, as I was gutting a pie pumpkin this morning, I started to think of all the things that have changed with me--since I have become a mom.

Before I was a mom I wouldn't blink twice to spend $200 on a pair of jeans I wanted, but the mom I am now, prides myself on shopping for great deals, and rarely spending more than $20 on a pair of jeans for me, yet spending $200 for children's "activities."

Before I was a mom I never thought to make a pumpkin pie, and now that I am a mom--I never think about not making the pumpkin filling from scratch.

Before I was a mom, I knew who I was, but not what I was capable of.

Before I was a mom, I wanted to change the world by teaching our youth, now my own youth teach me--and I am changing their world simply by loving them.

Before I was a mom, I wanted to see the world- but now that I am a mom, I am satisfied seeing the world thru the eyes of my children.

Before I was a mom, I never fixed lunch and then forgot to eat it.

Before I was a mom, I had no idea what being selfless was.

Before I was a mom, I didn't NEED coffee.

Before I was a mom, I could sleep thru anything, and now I will wake with intuition or at the slightest hiccup.

Before I was a mom, I had my life all planned out, and now my plans are altered for what's best for my children.

Before I was a mom, I flinched at scary movies- now nothing scares me--because I have/had a toddler.

Before I was a mom, I found time to lay around- and do nothing.

Before I was a mom,  I decorated my house in Americana, now I decorate my house in "kid".

Before I was a mom, snotty noses made me gag--

Before I was a mom, my heart never stopped beating in that brief instant when you turn around and your child isn't where you thought they were.

Before I was a mother, I drove fast, and lived life to the fullest--now I play it safe--not because of my future-but, because of theirs.

Before I was a mother, I dreamed of my future-- now I see my future every single day.

Before I was a mother, I never worried about what was "in" any pre-made food--now, I try to from-scratch everything.

Before I was a mother, I didn't feel the desire to document every memory, every picture- (scrapbooking)

Before I was a mother, I could clean the house and it would stay clean for longer than an hour.


However, some things never change--
I still love to shop, I still love high heels- (I actually, had a mother stop me once, wondering how I managed to hold on to a toddler and carry a baby seat, all in heels)
I will still see the world, after we see DisneyWorld.
I still have trouble sharing my Moose Tracks-- even with my kids :).
I still act silly- but sometimes those times include giggling in bed with all 4 members in our family--
I still go out for girls night, enjoy a glass of wine, and a date night.


My kids have changed me- and I like who I have become because of them.  Although, they may not see the change- I hope that they will listen and believe me--as I tell them how different I was before-

For the many mothers out there, take a quick glance at how life was before kids--and tell me what has been the biggest change for you since you became a mother/grandmother/aunt?

Roll Over Beethoven

I watch a sweet little infant, during the days--while I stay home with my kids.  I enjoy watching him, because he is such a great little baby!  I started watching him when he was 6 weeks old, and he is now about 3 months old.  Before I began watching him, I knew that since he would be spending so much time with me, that he was bound to do a, "first," with me--and I wasn't sure how I was going to handle this when it came time.

Then last week, something happened--and I knew it hadn't happened at home yet.  He rolled over!  So exciting, but I just had this feeling that it wasn't meant for me.  Afterall, I had watched my 2 babies learn to do new things--this was for his mom.  So, I acted as if I didn't see anything--and waited hopefully that he would repeat it for his own mommy.  A day went by, and the weekend went by...and nothing.

So, this week--he rolled for me again--and I thought okay, I will just video it.  So, I got out my little camera, which I always happen to have nearby, layed him on his belly and hit record.  Within seconds he rolled over.  I thought that I should showcase his new talent in a fun way, as to ease the bittersweet news.

Both mom and dad were both excited about the news and even more excited to watch the video.  But, I still felt a little guilty for having their moment.  Is this crazy?  Should I have never even told them?  Please comment and let me know your opinion on this--because there will be more, "firsts."

Please take a moment and celebrate with this great little family, and watch him Roll Over --

Rockstar

Once upon a time there was a young girl who believed that the, "New Kids on the Block," were the best band ever--and no one could ever have been better--and noone would ever be better.  Her dad tried to convince her that this was not true, and there were  much bigger music artists in the world.

As this little girl grew up, her beloved band stopped being a band--and became less and less well-known.  There are generations who have never even heard of this band.  Ironically, this little girl became a fan of her father's bands--and would know the lyrics to their songs by heart--but, always held a special place in her heart for her first loved band.

More time passed, and this once little girl--had her own little girl.  She loved her more than words could ever express-- and saw the fire in her eye that her mother had.  She knew from the beginning her daughter would be a strong girl, a resilient young lady and a courageous woman one day.  The mother saw it in her strong cry, her way with words,  and her desire for knowledge.

The time came sooner than the mother had expected--as her daughter was only 4--and the moment was just as unexpected.  As the mother stood at the stove, cooking eggs and sausage on a Tuesday morning, the daughter came to her mother to state her opinion.  "Hannah Montana is a Rockstar--she is the best rockstar ever....noone will ever be as good of a rockstar as Hannah Montana."

Her mother stood in silence, trying not to laugh as she saw her own sweet daughter show the same characteristics she showed at such an early age.  Of course her daughter was probably wrong, just like the mother was wrong so many years ago-  Would anyone remember Hannah Montana in 10 years-- probably about as many people that remember NKOTB.  But, it was not a point worth arguing.

What was important was that she saw her daughter being able to stand up for what she believed in, ...even when no one agreed.  Standing up for a teen-band/singer is not life-changing by any means, but the idea of her feeling that she can state her opinions, and have them heard and respected means everything to someone learning to find their voice.

So, as my dad entertained the idea that NKOTB would be a world-known band, and even playing their music for me on weekend mornings-- I will equally entertain the idea that Hannah Montana is the BEST ROCKSTAR-- not because I believe it, but because I respect my daughter and her opinions. If playing Hannah Montana in our house will help me show my daughter that it is good to stand up for herself, give it all she's got,  never give up and in short be a Rockstar of sorts--then..."It's the best of both worlds, chill out, take it slow--then you rock out the show."

PS.  For the record, my father's band-- is The Beatles-- who even have their one ROCK BAND after all these years---so I think he was right.  There I said it-- :)

Puppy Love

Okay, I am sorry-- I haven't blogged in quite a few days--and I have a cute, little excuse--an excuse that licks and snuggles--and sometimes pees on my floor.

Yes, we got the kids their first puppy!! *pause for aww's*

We didn't really plan on this step in our life--like most of our other decisions in life ;).  But, here we are, and if it turns out like the rest of our unplanned surprises--it will be a huge blessing, and make our family that much happier.

So, here's the story of how Riley joined our family:

Last weekend we went to Cedar Rapids to visit some great friends, who were celebrating the addition of new babies.  We brought gifts, held, and kissed on the first baby--and then, on the way to the second baby-- Kyle looked at me, and said, "okay, we can have a baby, or we can get a dog."  This was not a joke.  He was serious.  I had to laugh, at the simplicity of his comment, as if having a baby and getting a dog required the same steps, responsibilities or commitment.

Had we planned on having a third baby--yes and no.  The idea excited us, but the reality of what a new baby brought to our family of 4, made us nervous.  Afterall, we have not planned either baby to this point--we had never sat down and said--Okay, let's have a baby.  So, this was new to us.  We talked about it for a little bit- going back and forth.  And, when I say go back and forth-- I mean I went back and forth and Kyle listened.  See, I have discovered I am equally left and right brained, thus creating a constant battle within myself of logic vs. emotion.  How did I discover this, you wonder?  A completely accurate and highly recommended Facebook quiz! (hehe)

So, we came to the conclusion--that a new baby may or may not be for us-- but, we don't believe our family is ready at this time.  I would like to have a year home with just Jaxen, when Alexis goes to school next year.  I think Jaxen and I both deserve a year together, without the interruption of the dominant child :).

We also realized that we did not agree or could not even compromise on the breed of a dog.  I wanted a big dog, that would scare the crap out of a possible intruder--and Kyle wanted a small, yippy dog.  Okay, he didn't say yippy--but everyone knows little dogs are yippy.  Great Dane vs. Yorkie--   Kyle was adamant about not having a Dane, Mastiff, Pitbull, Boxer, etc.  And, I was adamant about not having a little dog.  We were not meeting on any common ground.  Oh well, no puppy for us.

So, we saw the babies, while Grandma and Papaw spoiled their only 2 grandchildren,  (Hmmm...maybe, if our kids had cousins--I wouldn't need to have another baby).  We headed home, putting the baby and dog idea out of our heads.  

Sunday arrived, and I googled Pet Shelters in the area.  I came across a couple, and I also saw that it was Adopt-a-Shelter-animal-month.  So, we decided to take the kids to a shelter, and just take a look.  We would see what they were drawn to, and teach them a lesson in responsibility by showing them what happens to animal when their owners don't take care of them.

What we didn't plan on--was falling in love with a sweet little puppy.  She was cute and wrinkly, and clumsy....and she was also most likely,  part Pittbull.  (One of the dogs, Kyle or I didn't want).   The kids walked her, she kissed the kids--and Kyle.  It was love at first sight.  Kyle forgot all about his anti-big dog statements and anti-pitt statements.  And,-he actually fell in love with 3 dogs, all PITTS ;)--and the kids would have been happy with any or all of the animals.

So, we went for ice cream.  We were going to have a family talk--but, we all knew, deep down that there was a puppy with Hamer written all over it.  So, we went back--and adopted our first puppy.  We followed up with an expensive trip to PetSmart, where the dog formerly known as Caramel, got her first pink collar and leash.

It took hours to decide on name that night-- Jaxen wanted to call her Buzz Lightyear or Boy, I wanted to call her Xoe.  Finally, Kyle came up with Riley--and it just seemed to fit.  Although, Alexis does think that her name is actually Riley Cyrus ;).  LOL

So anyway,  I have been busy potty training a puppy, reminding Jaxen to be gentle, along with all of my other motherly duties-- I can't say I haven't thought for a second, that maybe we weren't ready for a puppy, because I have. It is that whole equal right and left brain thing.  But, then I see my kids snuggle with the puppy, or Riley get excited to see her boy--and I know that we were ready.

As for the baby thing--it could still be a possibility.  We will wait and see I suppose...but, for now, my hands are full!

So, please help me welcome RILEY to our family!!

Mean Mom

I have recently come to terms with the fact that I am a if not, the, "mean mom."

We live in an awesome neighborhood--and when I say awesome...I mean everyone knows everyone, and everyone is friends with everyone.  It goes way beyond, borrowing a cup of sugar.  And, it is not uncommon to be at the neighbors house or gathering for neighborhood get-togethers every weekend.  We love it, and are lucky to have found such a great group of people to literally, surround ourselves with.

We have neighbors who love to visit with us as well as our children--and a nice mix of children in the neighborhood to keep our 2 kiddos in play-time heaven.   It is when they are playing with the other neighborhood kids, I have realized that I can come across like...oh, I don't know...my own mother?  My kids don't get to run to their hearts content all thru the neighborhood, they have to ask before they do anything, stay out of the street, ALWAYS use manners--you know...Be Perfect ;).

Physical limits of distance were easy to explain to the kids, although not always fun to enforce.  For example,  Jaxen went chasing his 2 little buddies down thru the backyards, I warned him to stop at his, "border."  He stopped, and looked at me, and then looked at his friends, still running ahead--and then hung his head and started to head towards me.  He was heart-broken to say the least.  You could see it written all over his cute little face--and I am pretty sure he was thinking--"oh, man-I never get to do anything!"  Afterall, that's what I would have said when I was age.  However, he didn't throw a fit, and he listened and came back immediately.  I may have been the mean mom--but, I was proud of my son, and I was keeping him safe.

My daughter knows her distance limits as well but, time limits were a little harder to explain. I know my parents, used to say--play til it gets dark, but it gets dark too late around here, and darkness is relative.  So, I had to think of something else. .  It seemed natural to me, that when she went to a neighbors house to play--that I set a time limit, or else she would be there ALL day!!  However, since she is only 4, and we are still working on telling time, it made sense to send her with a kitchen timer.  I would set it for 33 minutes-- 3 minutes for travel time, and 30 minutes to visit/play at a neighbors house.

The first time we tried this out--she went back out, with her timer in hand--looking for her friends.  But, they had moved locations--so, she frantically started searching for them, asking anyone she ran into--if they had seen them.  All the while, her time was ticking away and she was getting more and more frantic.  No one seemed to know where they went--but everyone took note of the mean mom's timer ;).  Time did run out, and we never found the other girls....so, Alexis didn't have a good first experience with the timer-but, I liked it.  And, the neighbors got a good laugh!

So, the next time, I watched as she went, with timer in hand to 2 houses over.  She and her brother had 30 minutes, to play at their house.  Just like clockwork, when that timer went off, the both started to head home -
The timer was a SUCCESS.

Now, I have been teased a little about the timer- and I have noticed that I seem to be the only one sometimes that makes her kids follow rules,  sit down to dinner, and so on.  I know this is not really true, but it does feel lonely sometimes to be the, "mean mom."  I have had to field a few questions of, "why can't we do this if they do this?  but, so and so is allowed to..."  But, they aren't anything I can't handle.  I just hope the questions don't get too much harder--because I don't know how long this, "mean-mom" attitude can last-- I guess when it starts to break, I can always say...

"GO ASK YOUR DAD!"


Thanks to my parents for not letting me do EVERYTHING I wanted, even though my friends did...thanks for being tough, when you had to- to keep me safe, and make me the SWEET GIRL I was, and the MEAN MOM, I am today.   I love you.



Boundaries and Limits = Love and Safety

Stain Fighter Superhero

I found the time, energy and I guess the want-to to clean the carpets yesterday-- I was a little proud of myself, considering I did this with 2 toddlers and a baby underfoot.  The wind was blowing yesterday, so I opened the windows--and the carpets dried super-fast.

This morning as I woke up to a chilly house, I turned on the fireplace, sat down with my coffee and thought about how clean and pretty my carpets looked.  It wasn't long before mommyhood called, and I was up and doing other things--while my coffee got cold, sitting by the chair.  I saw Jaxen walk towards the chair...and always being a step ahead of him, (because you have to) I said..."Jaxen, watch out for mommy's coffee."  "okay, mommy." he sweetly said.

Well you know as well as I, that if you don't move the coffee out of their reach, with newly cleaned carpets--it is inevitable--the coffee spilled all over the fresh carpets.  I know I said, "ugh..." as I grabbed the carpet cleaner.

Jaxen of course, said..."sorry, mommy..." and I knew he meant it.  Afterall, it's no use to cry over spilled coffee.

About 10  minutes later, we sat down to watch, Diego, when a commercial came on.  I heard Alexis, talking to herself out loud-- and she was saying..."hmmm...maybe, I should get that for mommy, for Christmas."  I hadn't been paying attention to the commercial- so, I asked her what it was.  And, with an excited, solve-all-your-problems kind of face, she told me it was a, "stain-fighter."  The way she explained told me that she believed this superhero-fighter could help me with all of my little boy stains! She had come to the perfect solution, and would save her money to buy me my very own STAIN FIGHTER for Christmas.

It was this innocent idea, that lead me to start daydreaming about a real-life stain-fighter hero that could follow Jaxen around all day long!  That would be nice wouldn't it?  But, since I realized long ago--there are no superheroes, I guess I will stick to Resolve.

What stain-fighters do you use?

Words to Pray

My sweet, son- excels in so many ways- but, sometimes cannot find the words to express where he is at, or what he wants to say.  He tries desperately, to get his point across- but, sometimes becomes frustrated when I don't understand him.

I love to see him communicate, and the light shine in his eyes, when he knows that the listener has understood him!  He sees the point in talking, he sees the effectiveness of words--and I couldn't be happier for him.

What I had failed to realize, as his vocabulary and speech was growing--that there was someone who could ALWAYS understand him, and know exactly what he was trying to communicate.

Jaxen has been very excited to say the dinner prayer, as we sit around the table in the evenings.  He has listened to his big sister pray for months and months--and he finally wants his turn.  At the beginning of August, he began by repeating a "recited" prayer.  I would say a line, and he would repeat it.  Although, we encourage our children to pray in their own words-- this was a way for him to not struggle with finding the words, yet feel like he was doing his part in Thanking God.

As we sat down to dinner a couple of nights ago--we were rushed with the day's activity--and Jaxen sat there, spoon propped in hand.  He quietly, said..."GOD...." and when noone helped...he said, "GOD...." again.  It took me just a second to realize what he was doing--he was beginning his prayer, whether we were going to remember or not.  It was the sweetest thing to see him, want to Thank God, with the limited words he has.  But, the awesome thing is--he didn't have to, "SPEAK," any words--God already knew his heart.

So, I chose not to give him "memorized," prayer lines that night.  Instead, I let him fill in the blanks.  Thank you for_______. He Thanked God that night for his mommy, and his daddy, his sissy, the food and Buzz Lightyear.  Who could ask for a better, more heartfelt prayer from a 2 year old-  Jaxen always knew what he was thankful for, he just didn't have the words to say it.

So, I will tonight's blog--with my thanks.
Thank you God for my sweet, precious family, and our perfect-for-us life, for granting me grace every day, for listening to me when I can't find the words.  Thank you for a family  and friends who show my children love, who accept me despite my flaws.  Thank you for morning snuggles, just woke-up grins, butterfly and nose kisses, the opportunity to be a mother, and finally for the reminding me daily, of the important things in life.