The Black Hole of Technology

So, in this day and age we can stay connected to our friends and family and a simple click of our phone.  We can call, text, twitter or facebook them.  We can write on their virtual wall, to tell them we are thinking of them, when we don't have the time to call or see them in person.

Although, this convenience is nice- it comes at a cost.  The cost varies on how much you rely on "virtual" interactions versus "in-person" interactions.  I personally love the idea of being able to text a friend during nap time when I am trying to be quiet- or facebooking someone who sleeps different hours that I do... but, when those virtual interactions take over the real interactions you could be having with those around you--it stops being a good thing, and becomes a hindrance.

I am guilty of overloading on virtual connections, as much as the next girl.  I have gotten caught up in Family Feud :), and I have even started this blog to give some insight to our family life.  I love having facebook and email access on my phone- and at times, only connect via phone.

Today, this is exactly what became a big, "whoopsie," for me.... I was laying the kids down for a nap, and thought I would catch up on some reading.  I got distracted, and checked my fb via phone.  I remembered that  a friend I went to elementary school, was being induced to have a baby today....so, I thought I would quickly write something on her wall.  (all via my fb page on my phone)

Well, my phone has the handy dandy little feature, that fills in words for you after a couple letters...It used to be called t9 on older phones--not sure what the name of the feature is now...maybe, auto-predict or something.

Anyways, I wanted to type: "Thinking about you, wondering if baby girl is here yet."
However--as I read what I wrote, posted on her wall-- I quickly realized my phone filled in the wrong word...and it said...on her wall...for everyone to read...
"Thinking about you, wondering if baby Hitler is here yet."

Yep.  I called her baby, Hitler in front of the entire FB world.  Well, the phone is nice for some facebook features, and not others.  One that does not work via phone, is DELETE.  Oh, no.  I raced to my nearest computer--and pulled up facebook...to delete and rewrite this message correctly.  I literally, ran down the stairs, to eliminate this awful message.  I also sent her a message letting her know, what happened, in case she got notifications in her email account....whew.

One thoughtful remark, turned into a horrible thing...in a matter of seconds....because of technology, and our "need" for it.  Too often, we forget that in having this vast amount of technology, that we are also giving up little pieces of ourselves.  Our time, our attention, our privacy, our sanity...

Don't get me wrong, I am not one to point fingers with this double-sided sword we created, or call anyone out on this black hole we have jumped into....but, since it is the internet...and the kids are all asleep--I will get on my soapbox.... and.... laugh at myself. 

It's Official

So, as of today, 2 things are official.  I know, you are excited aren't you??

The first thing is: My kids are to the age, where they are going to fight with one another.  Gone are the days of peaceful playing, and sweet gestures.  Oh, I still get those sometimes, but they are interlaced with screams and pinches :).  So, as I learn to gauge when I should step in, and when I should let them work it out--I realized the other officialdom.  (Didn't think that was a word, did you?)

The 2nd is, that I am becoming my parents.  Today, as I stepped in one of those "bickering," moments-- I felt at my wit's end.  They had been at each other for 2 days straight, and I was going crazy (to put it mildly).

So, I did what anyone would do, in my situation...I told them I was tired of them fighting, and that they had to hug until, they wanted to be nice to each other.  Hmmmm..wherever did I get that from?

Oh, yes...I remember many a time, that I had to hug a sibling after fighting with them.

Was it a just punishment?  It didn't kill us, though we were secretly pinching and hugging each other as tight as possible....out of love of course.

Does it work?  Probably not--(Sorry, mom and dad)...I think it just frustrates the kids more, because they do not want to hug each other. You can't force someone to "like" each other.  Because afterall, that is what it is about.  We kids, and my kids love each other--they just have to learn to get along.  Sometimes that takes a year or two--sometimes, 25 or 30.

I made the kids hug today, simply because I just didn't know what else to do. I wanted them to get along, and I felt as if I had tried everything else.  I was going to "make" them get along, whether they liked it or not ;).

So, as I stood there telling them to hug, my 3 year old son, looked at me as if I was crazy.  Maybe I was.  He didn't understand the punishment, and his sister was all too willing to hug him....which made him even more wary.  He didn't even try to get close enough for her to wrap her arms around him.  Instead, he asked for a spanking.  I had to laugh, and I didn't spank him.  He must have thought, that since I was so serious, this must be the worst punishment in the whole entire world!

So, we had a discussion- and I hope that they understood this very important lesson:  When they fight, momma isn't happy, and when momma isn't happy--ain't nobody happy.  Or something like that.

All things aside, I think I have it pretty good--Look, how sweet they are together....

I have been having so much fun with my Pink Cricut website, I haven't written anything in awhile on here.  That is not to stay the kids and I haven't busy, busy, busy--and enjoying our Spring.  I just have to prioritize.

As a mother, I have learned that other mother's priorities are not the same as mine.  That does not make them wrong, or me right--it just makes us different mothers.  And, I am of the theory, that if we are trying to be a good mom--then we are good moms.  Children (for the most part) are given to their perfect parent...,.not a PERFECT parent--but the perfect parent for them.  All kids are different, and all kids need different styles of parents.

I struggle with this idea a lot...almost daily.  I struggle with trying to be the PERFECT mom- and I worry that I fall short all of the time in my role as a mother. If I read 2 books a day to my kids, I would wish that I had read 3.  If I took them to the park once a week, I would wish for 3x a week....and so, on.  I am never perfect, in my own eyes.  So, I have to remind myself over and over again--that I am perfect for my kids.  They are healthy, smart, loved, well-behaved...and perfect for me.

They challenge me, they are patient with me, they love me unconditionally.

The same goes with other parents we may run into, in our busy lives...we may think they should be at every school function- when they are not.  We might think they don't spend enough time with their kids.  But, we don't know their story, we don't know their struggles or what goes on behind closed doors.  They may be doing their best--and that is EXACTLY what their kids need.

So, I will try to love on my kids a little more everyday- I know that I won't stop worrying about falling short-- But, I will do the best I can, and hope the same for every child out there.

Lovin' Life

Here we are--at a very FUN stage in our kids lives.  We enjoyed them at babies, and sometimes long for those days back, when their coos and smiles were new...but we are SO ready for this stage.  We took the kids to the Farmer's Market yesterday- where theyenjoyed themselves almost as much as we did.  Then we played a little catch in the yard--and then we took them fishing!

Yes, it's crazy- Fishing wouldn't be my first choice of things to do.  But, when it comes out our kids, I want them to try everything-- to have a taste of everything- to experience life at it's fullest.  So, I took my PINK fishing pole (that my sweet husband bought for me), and NEVER fished with it.  :) I was too busy working wtih the kids and their Transformer and Tinker Bell poles.  Sure they got bored, after awhile--and started to play with our dog.  Sure, Jaxen wouldn't touch the worm....And, they were never quiet enough to really be "real" fishermen--but, I enjoyed every moment of this experience.

I told Alexis at one point--that we were trying to catch our lunch--and in the olden days that is what we would have had to do to eat.  She was a little nervous--til I reminded her that I packed us a picnic.  :)

We took a break and cooked hot dogs and brats at the park- where the kids found several little caterpillars.  Again, I was in awe as they watched this little guy inch around the table.  They were amazed by his movements and his legs.  I love watching them discover the world.  I love being a part of their discovery. 

These are amazing days for all of us!  We are enjoying each and every single one!  I wake up in the morning--and I think how wonderful our lives are.  I think of how sweet, and fun our family is....and I am happy all over.  I might not catch up on laundry....ever.  I might not ever have clean floors.  I might not ever be fully rested.  But, who cares about that, when there is a world to discover with our babies.  :)

PS.  My husband is the one who gives me the strength to be the mom I want to be.  Not only does he work hard so I can be home, he buys me pink fishing poles so I feel special along with the kids, he puts the worm on the hook so my kids won't see that it disgusts me, he lets me sleep in on the weekends and always has a latte waiting for me, he comes downstairs to help with the dishes after he has gone to bed.  He shows me he loves me and that I am important and makes me feel like the love of his life--all while being a great dad.  I am a lucky, lucky girl.

THIRTY

So, I turned the big 3-0, last week.  It's crazy to say it and even crazier to type it.  But, I feel good about it- about where we are in life.  We have had our babies, and we have "settled" so to speak.  We are content.  Sure, we still have goals we are aiming for, and things we want to do- but we are happy where we are, on the way to where we are going. 

I think that is a great thing to be able to say at 30.  

I look at it this way, we've had our babies--we got thru the crying and the sleepless nights.  We got thru the teething and the diapers.  We got thru the "tough" stuff.  We can now sit back and enjoy ourselves a little, before life goes crazy again.  Because, that is how it works.  Life is a series of ups and downs, and smooths and rough spots.  

Before long, Alexis will be starting school- and then Jaxen.  Our lives will suddenly be filled with extracurricular activities, pta meetings, and such.  We will be at sports games on the weekends-and trying to fit in family trips when there is time.  We are at the "FUN" part...and I am so excited to be here!

Sure, there will still be struggles and disappointments.  But, we handle them like everything else- we will pull together, lean on one another and hold on tight for the ride.   

I will get wrinkles, and Kyle will get a gray hair or two. ( I won't-because I will insist on getting my hair colored so often, that I won't notice ;))

We are starting to realize now, that we are full-blown parents.  We are at the stage, where we remember our parents being- when we were small, but old enough to remember some things.

So, this decade I look forward to the many memories we will create as a family.  I say, bring on the roller coaster ride--because I am ready!  We were made strong by the first years of struggling, and we can take anything! (almost anything--except for moving too far away from a Starbucks) 

I am looking forward to this decade most of all, because I know that in my next decade both of my kids will be teenagers--and that is just scary-- So, please let this decade last forever! :) 

By the way, I had a LOVELY and very Grown Up Dinner out with friends for my 30th.  My husband treated me to a fabulous truffle steak/lobster tail dinner with champagne, wine and sauternes.  I had 2 amazing cakes, and just got to bask in the moment of being right where I wanted to be at 30! (whew-I almost typed 40---NOT GOOD)

My husbands favorite photo from the night out! 

Thanks to everyone who made my day so extra-special! I love you all!

Advice from the Childless

It never seizes to amaze me when I hear a story about a Parent getting advice on "How to raise a child" from someone who has NO children. 

News Flash

If you have no children it's like being on the Bench at a Football you can yell and scream all you want to at the players but know this....YOUR NOT IN THE GAME. Sit down and SHUT UP!

Oh what's that? Your learning by what I'm doing wrong on how to raise your children when you have them.

STOP IT!! I'm busting a gut laughing over here. You are in for the ride of your life when you finally decide to bring your likeness into the world.

KNOW THIS!

When you want that parenting advice from me or others who have been there and you make comments like "You don't know how to be a parent because you shouldn't let your child mix Playdoh, because it will turn grey and no one wants to play with Grey Playdoh."

Oh and "Because you let your child up early from "Time Out". When you say 5 minutes and let them out in 4 that's bad parenting." 

That for every Birthday and Christmas present I give your children they will receive 8 jars of Playdoh and I'm going to mix it before I wrap it! Because that's what bad Parents DO!!




Okay, I had to repost this, because I like so many other parents get so tired of people who think they know how to raise/discipline/rear/train/teach (whatever they are calling it) children--and have NONE.  I don't care if you've worked in a daycare for 20 years, I don't care if you've actually graduated from school and became a teacher--IT IS NOT THE SAME!!  
Don't get me wrong--I was one of those teachers--and I know lots of daycare/preschool workers-- I know those are tough jobs, and there is a lot of hands-on learning for the adult in those cases.  None of them make enough money, in my opinion.  BUT--I've done it all, and I am here to tell you, NOTHING you do or read--will stack up to becoming a PARENT yourself.  


So please, spare us your dirty looks, and snide remarks--because we WILL laugh at your struggles later on in life, when you do choose to have kids.  I'm just saying.


To be perfectly honest with you, I am lucky to not have too many of these "people" in my life.  For the most part, my family and friends accept and support my parenting--


A friend of mine, jokingly, has it all figured out--when she says "Why would we mess up our perfect parenting streak, by having our own children."  Or something like that...thanks Katie! 

You know what I love about doing these blogs?  I love that I can see where people are reading it from...I can see that people from the small town of Emporia all the way to Germany are reading it, how long they spend on one page, how often they visit and so on!! Isn't that amazing? 

So, yes--Amanda, when you read this--I know you are in Germany thinking of me :).  Now, you can see that I am thinking of you~ 

Isn't the internet a great way of keeping up-to-date!?! 

Thanks for reading, from wherever you are!!
Sarah