Friday, December 18, 2009

Messy Love

I have had pretty good luck with potty training with my first being a daughter.  Then my son came--and we keep getting close, but then we slide down that slippery slope made of pullups and wipies.

2 days ago, he was quiet.  Every mother of a toddler boy, knows that when it is quiet--there  is something wrong.  So, I called for him, and he didn't answer--then I asked if he was going, "potty," in his pants--and he said from the bathroom-- "no."  But, in that shaky voice, I knew he was.  I swung open the door, thinking I would find a boy standing in the diaper, not on the toilet, doing his business. 

Instead, I found my sweet boy, pants off, sitting upon his potty, doing his the potty, by himself, in the potty....WOOHOO!   (Did I mention, in the potty?!!)  He looked at me, and put his hand up, and said. "please, go now."  I understood quickly, he wanted his privacy.  After he was done, we threw him a little vocal praise party-- let him call grandma, the whole 9 yards.

Then yesterday, Jaxen told me he had to go potty, so he went into the bathroom and did not want my help.  I let him have his privacy, thinking this was the key to the potty training for him alll along.  After a little bit of time had passed, he ran to me, excitement all over his face--saying he did it- he pooped in the potty!  Again, I was happy for him, and as he walked away I saw traces of his "business" on his little cheeks.  Uh-oh.

I told him we needed to clean up a little, and we went to the bathroom together-- where I walked in on a very big, mess. ( I am trying not to use too many descriptive words, for fear of gagging).  It was smeared on the toilet seat, and on the floor.  I started to clean him up first, and as I was wiping him down-- he began to say in a soft voice, "forgive me...forgive me?"  This was the first time I have ever heard him apologize in this way, and it made me smile through my frustration.  I told him of course I forgave him.  I explained to him that if he needed help, he needed to let mommy help him, and it was okay to ask for help.  He then looked up at me, with sweet eyes, and said..."friends?"  This I have heard before, and I love it when he says it, and reaches to hold my hand as he says it.  I told him we would always be friends, no matter how big the mess. 

And, as I went to take his hand, I said..., "Is that poop on your hand."  He looked down at his right hand, and said without hesitation or embarassment, "yes."  And, then he looked at his left hand, and said..."not this one."  I had to laugh.  He saw the positive in this stinky situation, he saw no mountain (or pile of sh*%) standing in his way , to show his mommy how much he loved her and was sorry. 

How could one not learn and be humbled by this act of determination and love.  My 2 year old, "terror," full of undying, unwavering, messy love---He truly amazes and inspires me.

So, yes, Alexis was easier and less messy to potty train, but Jaxen shows me how to love in the midst of any kind of CRAP.

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