Sunday, January 18, 2009

Bath Salts

Alexis made her mommy some bath salts, (well I helped, it was an arts and crafts project). The point was that she made them especially for me. So, every time I went to take a shower--Alexis eagerly asked if I was going to be using my special bath salts...

So, finally I decided to draw a bath, and use these special bath salts-- I ran the water, lit the candles, dimmed the lights and sprinkled in the bath salts. I touched the tip of my toes into the water--it felt perfect. I put both feet in, and started to sit---WHOA!! It was way too hot, and I like hot water--I think I scalded myself. I climbed out, turned on the cold water and began swirling the water, in an attempt to eliminate, "hot spots."

After standing naked, in front of my lace covered windows, I decided I better get in whether the water was too hot or not. I slowly lowered myself into the water, allowing time for my skin and body to acclimate to the temperature. This 30 second process, seemed like an eternity.

After my body was immersed, minus my head of course--I glanced around-- and then I thought, "What am I supposed to be doing, exactly?" I know that a bath is supposed to be relaxing, but I am more of a multi-tasker-- Maybe I should have brought in the laptop or the cell phone to catch up with an old friend, or better yet facebook.

Unfortunately, I have very bad experiences with electronics and water--even in small doses. I have ruined at least 6 phones with water damage- (toilet, bath tub, hot tub, drool). So, electronics were out of the question. I glanced around again, hoping that the relaxing feeling would set in--it didn't. I am sure my impatience did not help matters.

There isn't too much to look at in my bathroom-- a floor that needs scrubbed, a sink with toothpaste glued to the front that needs cleaned, towels that could be re-folded to look nicer--But, I can't do those things and sit in the bath tub, relaxing. So, I tried to keep my focus on what was in the bathtub.

I tried to breathe in the essence of the bath salts, and allow the calming and soothing effects take hold of my muscles--when I noticed my toenails needed painted--and that I should have stuck to those morning runs, and fit in a few more sit ups, and that I should have shaved my legs this morning, and wondering how I could erase the traces of pregnancy left behind. Pretty soon my mind was filled with a to-do cleaning list, and a big blow to my self-confidence.

How does anyone think that taking a bath is relaxing and good for the soul? I climbed out and hurriedly draped a towel over my body--and breathed a sigh of relief--relieved to not have to look at, "me" any longer and relieved to be able to get something accomplished.

With this dreadful experience, I reaffirmed that I am not a bath person-- I am a multi-tasker, I need to have at least 2 things on my plate at a time, if not more. I thrive in those full-plate situations. I learned that I am not as confident as people think I am with my body, with my housekeeping, with my mothering, with anything. I do not like to sit still and quiet long enough to realize my downfalls-especially when they are staring me back in the face.

So, as nice as bath salts may smell and be --I will save them for another time in my life. I am not sure when, but I hope that one day I can lay in my bathtub, see toothpaste on the sink, and a soft abdomen and be perfectly okay with it.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Ford tough

I always thought Jaxen was a "rough and tumble," "all-boy," kind of kid. He is build Ford tough-- or something like that. He is solid, he is strong, and he can be rough. I think that is one of my favorite things about him--A rough lil guy w/ a soft, sweet side.

I guess, I just never knew HOW masculine he was--until this past 24 hours. We had a "play-date," with a boy about 1/2 year older than Jaxen. We had never met this boy before, so as I talked to his mother on the phone--I tried to get a feel for what this little boy enjoyed--since he would be staying quite awhile with us. Knowing my son--and other boys his age-- I asked her if her son was, a "rough and tumble," kind of kid... Her response? "hmm..not really." I thought that maybe she just didn't realize he was rough and tumble, considering he was the only child--no frame of reference.

The next day, the mom and boy came over-- The boys were filled with excitement to see one another-- a kid, "just their size." (well almost, Jaxen was considerably bigger) They began to play--The, 'friend' wanted to play a quiet, calm game of blocks or dinosaurs--which sounded good to me...

...but, my son, with all of his pent-up boyhood from being stuck in w/ girls all day--didn't want anything to do with quiet or calm. He would play dinosaurs--but roaring, chasing dinosaurs--scaring his poor friend. When that wasn't a hit, Jaxen was sure wrestling would be a good choice. He tried to tumble with his friend, laughing and throwing his weight around a little-

Uh-oh. The friend did not like this at all...he enjoyed his personal space. So, our play date consisted of me trying in every way to explain to Jaxen, to respect personal space, not to play rough with his new playmate, and to try not to scare him. These are things that are important to learn, but I am not sure they will be learned very quickly.

For now, Alexis will put up with Jaxen's wrestling, mommy roars with him, and daddy gets a kick out of his "rough" behavior--because he sees athletic ability in it.

Now for those of you reading this, thinking to yourself: "he acts that way, because that is what you have encouraged and taught him...boys aren't born rough & tumble" I would kindly like to squash that idea--I believe not all boys are born like that, but I also believe some are--

However, Jaxen has been surrounded by princesses, dolls, jewelry, makeup, and girls for most of his life. He has had his toenails painted, because he has wanted them painted--he has worn his momma's jewelry and shoes, he has his very own baby dolls, and he doesn't mind putting Cinderella to sleep when she is tired. You will find his mom playing educational word games with him, way before you find her wrestling him--you will find him cooking and baking in the kitchen on a regular basis, and playing whatever, "princess" game Alexis has concocted. So, it is with those examples, I can say beyond a shadow of doubt--this "rough-housing" is innate for him. Which is why he was ecstatic to see someone to share this natural desire with him---

So, if you know of any boys or girls that can hang in there with the "tough guy," let me know--so we can let them play :D

Thursday, January 8, 2009


Alexis has always loved music--and she tends to be attracted to upbeat, hip-hop type of music. For those of you who were around before she could talk--(did she ever not talk?) you will remember her bouncing to the naughty ringer on mommy's phone--"My Humps." It was all in good fun then--knowing full and well she was only being influenced by the beat, not the words.

Her love of music grew, as she was introduced to more and more genres and songs. She began to really listen to the words, and pick up on entire lyrics to songs. We had to be careful now, to what music we surrounded her with. We could not have our daughter, asking questions about humps, or lumps or any other dirty thing--because, what would we say?? Half of the adults in this country couldn't tell you what the average hip-hop song means ;). (proof of this: I looked up the lyrics to the song by Missy Elliot, "Work It," and she literally has made-up words in it--)

Even as we tried to protect her innocent ears and mind--Christmas time brought, "All I Want for Christmas is You," and boy did she love that song. It was with that song that brought, Alexis' new singing voice. Now, when she sings, she doesn't pronounce her words like normal--instead she slurs the end of the word like a rock-star might. Secretly, this drives me crazy--I need correct pronunciation in my world. Anyone who knows me well, will vouch for me on this one--and will probably have a story about what word I corrected them on, and how I went on and on about why it is pronounced in that way---

After, Alexis and Jaxen went to bed--Mommy and Daddy had time for an adult movie (not the dirty kind) Kyle reluctantly agreed to HouseBunny. It was a cute movie, with catchy songs--one of which must have seeped up the stairs, into Alexis' bedroom and into the portion of her brain that stores songs and music. Because, sure enough-the next day she was singing, Katharine McPhee's, "I Know What Boys Like."

Luckily, that was the only line of the song she knew--but, puzzled by how she can add songs to her music vocabulary, apparently by osmosis--I asked her--, "Alexis, what do boys like?"

With her sweet, smarter beyond her years, blue eyes--she looked up at me--and without even a second of a pause, stated, "Dinosaurs."

Boys like dinosaurs--why on Earth would I think they would like any other thing? So, all along in my 28 years of trying to figure out boys, guys, husbands--my 3 year old had the answer. Dinosaurs. They like big, toothy, monsters that stomp, fly, eat, fight and roar. Makes perfect sense, doesn't it?

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Sneaky Lil Guy

My sweet Jaxen is full of life, full of energy and full of love. He has been sneakily creeping out of bed, after his sister is asleep. He sits at the top of the stairs for a few minutes, being as quiet as a mouse--(at least he thinks so). But, mom & dad know that he is there, by a creak in a floorboard, or a scuffle of a jammie foot. We glance at each other and then up at him, both trying to put our stern faces on.

As we look up in our sweet son's direction, our eyes meet--and Jaxen smiles the biggest smile, and you can practically see his eyes sparkle in the dark. Of course, not in a creepy way--they aren't glowing ;). He then waves to us, like he hasn't seen us in ages. With that smile and that happy wave, mom and dad's sternness fades away abruptly. How can you not smile back at someone so glowing and filled with joy just to see your face.

He creeps down the stairs, cute and coy--and grinning, he climbs up in mommy's arms. He snuggles, he hugs, he wraps his arms around me and rests his head upon my chest--and there is not even an ounce of power within me to turn him away. Instead, I enjoy this bonding time with my son, and know that it is important for him and for me.

There are no interruptions of laundry, or meals to be fixed, and most of all there is not another sibling vying for mom and dad's attention. Jaxen sits quietly, and just loves and soaks up his mommy's love.

Tonight, while he spent his mommy bonding time downstairs, he bumped his little finger, and needed a kiss. He held his finger up to me and I kissed it. He then realized, he needed more kisses, on each of his fingers--because one kiss on one finger, was clearly not enough. I kissed each finger, I kissed each wrist, I kissed each palm--until Jaxen was finally satisfied.

As, I sat there looking at him--I wondered how often do I zoom through the busy work of life, that I forget to sit and give Jaxen the endless kisses on his fingers? One day he won't want kisses on his fingers, well not from me anyway--and on that day my heart will break just a little.

May I cherish each moment that I can steal away to truly love my children. If that means the laundry piles up, the dishes sit, the dust settles, and someone misses their bedtime--then Let it Be, because I know these are moments I will never regret spending with my babies.