Sunday, January 18, 2009

Bath Salts

Alexis made her mommy some bath salts, (well I helped, it was an arts and crafts project). The point was that she made them especially for me. So, every time I went to take a shower--Alexis eagerly asked if I was going to be using my special bath salts...

So, finally I decided to draw a bath, and use these special bath salts-- I ran the water, lit the candles, dimmed the lights and sprinkled in the bath salts. I touched the tip of my toes into the water--it felt perfect. I put both feet in, and started to sit---WHOA!! It was way too hot, and I like hot water--I think I scalded myself. I climbed out, turned on the cold water and began swirling the water, in an attempt to eliminate, "hot spots."

After standing naked, in front of my lace covered windows, I decided I better get in whether the water was too hot or not. I slowly lowered myself into the water, allowing time for my skin and body to acclimate to the temperature. This 30 second process, seemed like an eternity.

After my body was immersed, minus my head of course--I glanced around-- and then I thought, "What am I supposed to be doing, exactly?" I know that a bath is supposed to be relaxing, but I am more of a multi-tasker-- Maybe I should have brought in the laptop or the cell phone to catch up with an old friend, or better yet facebook.

Unfortunately, I have very bad experiences with electronics and water--even in small doses. I have ruined at least 6 phones with water damage- (toilet, bath tub, hot tub, drool). So, electronics were out of the question. I glanced around again, hoping that the relaxing feeling would set in--it didn't. I am sure my impatience did not help matters.

There isn't too much to look at in my bathroom-- a floor that needs scrubbed, a sink with toothpaste glued to the front that needs cleaned, towels that could be re-folded to look nicer--But, I can't do those things and sit in the bath tub, relaxing. So, I tried to keep my focus on what was in the bathtub.

I tried to breathe in the essence of the bath salts, and allow the calming and soothing effects take hold of my muscles--when I noticed my toenails needed painted--and that I should have stuck to those morning runs, and fit in a few more sit ups, and that I should have shaved my legs this morning, and wondering how I could erase the traces of pregnancy left behind. Pretty soon my mind was filled with a to-do cleaning list, and a big blow to my self-confidence.

How does anyone think that taking a bath is relaxing and good for the soul? I climbed out and hurriedly draped a towel over my body--and breathed a sigh of relief--relieved to not have to look at, "me" any longer and relieved to be able to get something accomplished.

With this dreadful experience, I reaffirmed that I am not a bath person-- I am a multi-tasker, I need to have at least 2 things on my plate at a time, if not more. I thrive in those full-plate situations. I learned that I am not as confident as people think I am with my body, with my housekeeping, with my mothering, with anything. I do not like to sit still and quiet long enough to realize my downfalls-especially when they are staring me back in the face.

So, as nice as bath salts may smell and be --I will save them for another time in my life. I am not sure when, but I hope that one day I can lay in my bathtub, see toothpaste on the sink, and a soft abdomen and be perfectly okay with it.

No comments: