Monday, January 12, 2009

Ford tough

I always thought Jaxen was a "rough and tumble," "all-boy," kind of kid. He is build Ford tough-- or something like that. He is solid, he is strong, and he can be rough. I think that is one of my favorite things about him--A rough lil guy w/ a soft, sweet side.

I guess, I just never knew HOW masculine he was--until this past 24 hours. We had a "play-date," with a boy about 1/2 year older than Jaxen. We had never met this boy before, so as I talked to his mother on the phone--I tried to get a feel for what this little boy enjoyed--since he would be staying quite awhile with us. Knowing my son--and other boys his age-- I asked her if her son was, a "rough and tumble," kind of kid... Her response? "hmm..not really." I thought that maybe she just didn't realize he was rough and tumble, considering he was the only child--no frame of reference.

The next day, the mom and boy came over-- The boys were filled with excitement to see one another-- a kid, "just their size." (well almost, Jaxen was considerably bigger) They began to play--The, 'friend' wanted to play a quiet, calm game of blocks or dinosaurs--which sounded good to me...

...but, my son, with all of his pent-up boyhood from being stuck in w/ girls all day--didn't want anything to do with quiet or calm. He would play dinosaurs--but roaring, chasing dinosaurs--scaring his poor friend. When that wasn't a hit, Jaxen was sure wrestling would be a good choice. He tried to tumble with his friend, laughing and throwing his weight around a little-

Uh-oh. The friend did not like this at all...he enjoyed his personal space. So, our play date consisted of me trying in every way to explain to Jaxen, to respect personal space, not to play rough with his new playmate, and to try not to scare him. These are things that are important to learn, but I am not sure they will be learned very quickly.

For now, Alexis will put up with Jaxen's wrestling, mommy roars with him, and daddy gets a kick out of his "rough" behavior--because he sees athletic ability in it.

Now for those of you reading this, thinking to yourself: "he acts that way, because that is what you have encouraged and taught him...boys aren't born rough & tumble" I would kindly like to squash that idea--I believe not all boys are born like that, but I also believe some are--

However, Jaxen has been surrounded by princesses, dolls, jewelry, makeup, and girls for most of his life. He has had his toenails painted, because he has wanted them painted--he has worn his momma's jewelry and shoes, he has his very own baby dolls, and he doesn't mind putting Cinderella to sleep when she is tired. You will find his mom playing educational word games with him, way before you find her wrestling him--you will find him cooking and baking in the kitchen on a regular basis, and playing whatever, "princess" game Alexis has concocted. So, it is with those examples, I can say beyond a shadow of doubt--this "rough-housing" is innate for him. Which is why he was ecstatic to see someone to share this natural desire with him---

So, if you know of any boys or girls that can hang in there with the "tough guy," let me know--so we can let them play :D

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