Wednesday, February 3, 2010

23 more days!

23 more days, marks the end of my time with someone else's baby.  I will be so happy to spend my days with Alexis and Jaxen- without the distraction or responsibility of another mother's bundle of joy.  Although, babies can be fun--it is time for me to concentrate on just my babies-before, they are no longer babies.

Alexis starts Kindergarten in the fall, and Jaxen is not far behind her.  I feel them slipping into busy school kids, who don't snuggle with their mom in the morning or don't need to be tucked in-- and I am clinging onto the last days with desperation.  But, I refuse to let my desperation, stand in the way of allowing myself to enjoy these days with them...

We will skip, jump in puddles, eat ice cream before lunch, build castles in the sand....and most importantly I will never once, not even for a moment--regret, my decision to spend this precious time with my babies.  I will look back and cherish every, "small,"  moment-- It is like the quote by Robert Brault, "“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”

It is the little moments spent with your babies, that teach them how to love, and how to be loved.  The little moments show them they are important and worthy of your undivided attention.  These moments shape them into the adults they will one day become- and they will forever become a part of me, that I will cling to, with the same desperation in my last days on this earth.

So, I will be selfish for me, and I will be selfish for my kids--because I don't want anything to stand in the way of these moments-- I also know that our kids need more than me, they need their dad too.  So, I am grateful that Kyle has a job that allows him to be home with them more than he ever has been able to in the past.  The kids have loved having him around, and spending time with their daddy.  He has worked hard to get where he is at, and we have been blessed to be put in a position, where we are able to make this decision, without worry. 

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