Thursday, January 21, 2010

Dream with me

My sweet daughter, loves to dream with me.  Sometiems she asks me what I want to dream about, and I make up some elaborate setting for our dreams to take place.  Other times, she knows exactly what she wants to dream about, and she tells me about the setting, or character I will play in these dreams.  Then she says, "See you in my dreams..." and we go to our beds. 

Now, of course I don't really get to choose my dreams-- and most often I don't even remember my dreams.  I wonder if she really dreams, what we've talked about, or if they are just settings and events she thinks about before drifting off to sleep.  Either way, it is a sweet way to part from one another.

Every once in awhile, we get caught up in our daily events, and we forget to talk about the dreams we will meet each other in.  It was after one of those evenings, that Alexis sat at the breakfast table, eager to tell me about her dream.

"Mom, do you want to hear about my dream?"
Without blinking, I sleepily answer, "sure."  I thought I would hear an elaborate story of princesses and castles, or of riding an elephant in a circus, or of being a Musketeer.  Instead, I heard something that shook me out of my sleepiness, faster than any cup of coffee.
"I found this wishing well, and I made a wish."
"Do you know what I wished for?"
Here it comes....With more excitement than any mother is ready for at 7:30am..."I wished for my boyfriend, and he appeared...and he had blonde hair and green eyes, and he was so handsome, that I almost kissed him before we got married...."

My eyes were wide open, questions and concerns replaced the fuzzy nothingness in my head, and my heart beat just a bit faster. I tried to stay calm, and not act like this dream came as a shock, as I looked at my 4 year old daughter.

"Wait, you wished for your boyfriend?"
"yeah, and he was so handsome, that I almost kissed him before we got married.?"
"So, did you kiss him before you got married...?"
"No, mom- I can't kiss him til I get married...."

I am sure I couldn't hide my sigh of relief.  Not, that we are a family that believes there should be no kissing before marriage, but we are a family that is postponing any dating for our children til they are at least over 4 :).  In all seriousness, Alexis will probably not be able to date until she is 16. 
We want our children to become who God intends them to become, before stifling their unique personalities or losing their deserved innocence,  by dating too soon.  I wouldn't say we are over-protective, but we also come from homes that encouraged allowing children to be just that....children.  There is no good reason, to rush them through this special and important time in their lives. 

I also understand, as I write these words that things may happen differently, that what I expect--and that life will do it's best at surprising me.  Parenting in general, has surprised me.  I had an ideal of what parenting was, and how I would parent--and the steps I would take in rearing and raising my children.  And, I am sure I am not the first to say, that after you actually become a parent-- any ideals you might have had, are completely BLOWN out of the water, leaving you with only a trace of what you expected. 

Then of course, when you think you have found your footing in parenting, then you have another child-- OR, your child gets older.  Parenting is an unending obstacle course, with new challenges at every age.  But, I honestly Thank God for these challenges, because it means I AM a parent, and love my kids enough to care about the challenges of parenting them.

Am I confident that I am making all the right decisions in parenting--nope, are any of us?
But, I am confident that no matter what they do, I will love my kids--and we will get through it. 

In the meantime, I will be proud that my daughter is saving her first kiss for her handsome, blonde hair, green eyed boyfriend for marriage.  And, without a doubt, I will keep any blonde hair, green-eyed boys far, far, far away from my daughter.  Just in case. ;)

1 comment:

Portugal said...

I trained as a classical vocalist in college but stopped because of family and career. When I heard Jackie's voice, for the first time in my life I heard perfection. Let's be clear, my voice will never reach the natural perfection she possesses, but listening to her helps me understand the direction I need to be going. Her tones are crystal clear, yet she has vibrato. Her pitch is exact. By trying to emulate her sound, I have actually improved my own voice. In fact I auditioned and was recently accepted into the most prestigious chorus in the city. I credit this achievement in a great part to Jackie because she showed me to way to excellence.