Tuesday, January 5, 2010

WE will not be a Statistic

If 50% of marriages end in divorce-- it begs the question....why? Do they get married too young? Do people change? Do they make an unforgivable mistake?

The percentage is higher, the younger you get married-- I am in the 2nd tier of risk, since I was 24, had I waited one more year, our statistics would have been better.  What were we thinking?!

Here is another statistic:

50% of women cheat on their husbands at some point in their marriage and 60% of men cheat on their wives.   Which means....that someone is having an affair in 80% of all marriages!!! OMG- isn't that positively ridiculous to think about?!  Forgive the overuse of exclamation and question marks, but I am honestly shocked!

I knew the number had to be high, since it seems like every time you turn around you hear about the unthinkable.  But, 80% and yet, the divorce rate is only 50%.  (I am sure there is some crossover like both husband and wife cheating in one marriage) I don't know if we should be proud or ashamed that are divorce rate is less than our cheating rate?

All I do know, is that it makes me incredibly sad.  Sad, that we cannot be faithful to our spouses, sad that we have let our society become so full of adultery.  I am not lecturing, I am not preaching, I am just having trouble finding faith in marriage, in the vows all married people spoke before God, in people.   I have lost faith, I have lost trust in those around me.

I struggle with naivety.  I think the best of people, until I am proven wrong.  (When 2 people wander off together, I am not thinking about them doing anything wrong-- I am the one shocked when I find out that they did do something wrong. )  I am trying to be less naive, and trying to see the world for what it really is.  But, with this comes a loss of innocence, that I am not sure I am ready to give up at even (almost) 30 years old.  I want to see the good in people, I want to hope for the good in people, I want to trust, I want to have faith in promises made.  I want to believe in love, I want to believe in marriage.

As a couple, Kyle and I know more married people that have been divorced than not-- and we are not that old yet.  We are not even in our 30's yet.  Those of you are in your 30's or almost-- and not married yet, consider yourselves lucky-- your chances of getting divorced are much lower than mine.

So, as I sit here and think about the looming doom of divorce rates-- I glance toward my husband, and I know- that I trust him, I love him, I have faith in us.  We are not a number on a page, we are not a percentage point.  We are Sarah and Kyle, husband and wife, mother and father of 2 beautiful children-- that's it.   If the whole world crumbles around us, (which apparently 50-60% of the world is)  our family will keep our eyes up, our hope alive with our hands held.  It's him and I, against the world of statistics.  With God, we will prevail.

For those of you who have been divorced, or are going through a divorce- my heart goes out to you.  I know there is pain and hurt that I could not even fathom.  I am sure it is one of the hardest things you have done.  I pray for you, and your ex-spouse and any children that may be involved.  I pray that you find peace and joy in 2010 and that love surrounds you and your family.

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