Friday, September 11, 2009

Sweet Spot

My kids did not have a "woobie," a "safety blanket," or anything of the sort--instead, they found the comfort and tranquility with a touch. At first came my daughter, who soothed herself with the gentle stroke of her mother's arm. I remember vividly, answering the question on a form: Does your child cling to an object when she is upset? and I literally wrote, "my arm."

This calming action, got to the point where she would be trying to fall asleep, and she would ask for, "your arm, your arm." She knew at such a small age, what it took for her to feel safe, cared for and loved.

My son, did not ever learn that the skin of my arm could offer peace, but he found his own placidity within the hollow of my neck. He found he could bury his tiny hand in between my chin and chest, letting the warmth and the thump of my heartbeat ease him into sleep.

Although, Alexis has grown out of this habit; Jaxen holds tight to the ritual. When he gets himself worked up, he knows that he needs to be held at an angle where his hand can find the valley of my neck. His hand is not as tiny, but he knows that size doesn't matter when it comes to finding a sanctuary of safety and love.

In a way, it is as if, these two very different children, were hard-wired to seek out a tangible love--one they can reach for, touch and hold in their precious little hands. How amazing is it, that with the simple allowance of a touch--that a child can find all that they are looking for in this world? With that caress of their mother's skin, they find love, understanding, grace, acceptance, a feeling of security, a feeling of importance and peace.

It saddens me to know that Alexis has outgrown, such an endearing and tender mannerism, and that it is only a matter of time before Jaxen will also outgrow his very own, distinctive touch. Will I be able to communicate the same amount of feeling, they could get from a simple touch, with words and actions? I am not sure, but I will try every single day-- and pray that they feel that peace within themselves, that I once could give, just by being their mom.

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