Friday, December 5, 2008

Jammies at 11am

It was 11 am, and there was a knock on the door-- pretty ordinary, until I mention the fact that I answered the door in my jammies.  Yes, it was 11am, lunch time for some--and I and my 2 kids were still in our jammies.  

Were we sick--not really. Jaxen was a little under the weather, but there really was no GOOD excuse why we were all still in our jammies.  

The wonderful thing about all of this is, that I did not feel an ounce of guilt--okay maybe, just an ounce.  But, that is not very much, considering how guilty I make myself feel about other things. 

Why didn't I feel guilty?

I think it is because we as mothers, like to look at each other and feel either really good about our ability to mother, or look at each other and feel awful about our mothering ability.  When in actuality, we are all good at some things and awful at others when it comes to being a mommy.

For instance, there is a mother out there who consistently and quickly dresses her children in cute outfits, matching socks and shoes every single morning.  And there is a mother out there that always cooks home-cooked, from-scratch, only-organic meals each and every single meal.  There is also a mother out there that takes her kids to McDonalds every Wed night, and never feels guilty.  And a mother who allows her children to make their own lunch, of PB&J every day. 

I am none of those mothers--but, I know they are out there.  That does not make any of them better than the others.  I feel like it is difficult in the "mommy-community" to be real and honest with your mommy behaviors.  Everyone feels like they are the only ones struggling, and feeling guilty--but, in reality we have all just painted pictures of what we think mommyhood should look like. 

I am tearing up that painting, and stating that somedays my kids are in their jammies at 11, somedays my kids get homecooked, from scratch meals, and somedays they get Chef Boyardee.  Somedays I feel like super-mom and get all the laundry and cleaning done while cooking dinner and playing with the kids---and somedays I get none of those things done.  Somedays I love on my kids and show them as much patience as anyone possibly could, and somedays I raise my voice at them.  (It is unfair that I should feel judged just by writing this)  

So, to all the mothers out there--know that you are doing a fantastic job, because you are doing the best you can.  Know that every mother has her own struggles and secrets she hasn't confessed about her mommy-ing.   

And, for those of you who are not mothers--keep this locked away in theh back of your mind, and when you are hiding in the laundry room, hoping for 2 more minutes of silence, may this come back to you--and either haunt you for judging mothers or...give you that pat on the shoulder that you need.

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